Track Title: Toy Soldiers

Artist: Martika

Toy Soldiers - Martika (REVISED) -TRIGGER WARNING-

It wasn’t my intention to mislead you.

It never should have been this way.

It’s true, I did the invitation,

I never knew how long you’d stay.

When you hear temptation call 

It’s your heart that takes, takes a fall 

Won’t you come out and play with me?’ 
——
How could I be so blind to this addiction 

If I don’t stop the next one’s gonna be me 

Only emptiness remains 

It replaces all, all the pain 

'Won't you come out and play with me?' 

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

—-

This is a little headcanon of mine. This song is about having an addiction.

Jack has an addiction. And it is self harm. At first it was physical self harm. He used a fish hook and would slash his arms in the first few months of his life because he had a very hard time dealing with his loneliness and the pain of what came with his position. He learned to overcome the physical harm. And that slowly became replaced with mental self harm. Purposely doing things in order to purposely make himself feel guilty. Like he didn’t deserve love. Like he deserved the loneliness. But I do have to add that to some degree, Jack still struggles with some of these techniques. But as his life progressed he learned to release feelings in better, healthier ways.

Jack had never intended for the self harming to get as bad as it did. Because he never thought he’d become addicted to doing it. That it would be the only thing stopping him doing worse. And for a long time he was in denial of it.

The physical self harm only lasted the first few months of his life.

The mental self harm still occurs even the present day. But it is honestly a rarity for him to do anything of such severity anymore.

When you hear temptation call 

It’s your heart that takes, takes a fall 

'Won't you come out and play with me?' 

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

Bit by bit,

Torn apart.

We never win, 

But the battle rages on,

For toy soldiers.

Jack will always have inner struggles. Even when he learned to overcome his addiction, the fight is still constantly there. But the more he learned to understand his purpose and what his center was, the more he realized in the end, it would be okay. And it was.

(I also think you cannot understand how hard it is for me to type this and listen to this song because seriously this headcanon and the way this song fits kills me and I can’t believe I’m actually crying over this right now.)


  1. deluxeboys reblogged this from ijackfrost
  2. godneyhasalittlelamb reblogged this from jennception
  3. bethanyjoylenz reblogged this from jennception
  4. jennception reblogged this from ijackfrost
  5. ninja1976 reblogged this from ijackfrost
  6. bleu-et-rose reblogged this from ijackfrost
  7. ihateoliversykes reblogged this from ijackfrost
  8. the-littlest-ankle-biter reblogged this from ijackfrost
  9. hellomynameismorganinstagram reblogged this from ijackfrost
  10. fabtahno reblogged this from ijackfrost
  11. anartists reblogged this from zakiyazaki
  12. ninjawafflespandafrog reblogged this from ijackfrost
  13. strirders reblogged this from littlepancake
  14. littlepancake reblogged this from ijackfrost and added:
    I will ALWAYS reblog this beautiful HC when it is on my dash.
  15. ijackfrost reblogged this from ijackfrost